SAHM Diary: An Experiment, I went back to work for seven weeks, Here’s what I learned

I spent the first seven weeks of the year covering maternity leave for a friend and old co-worker of mine. It ended up being an excellent experiment for me/us to see if I’d like to go back to work (at least at some level), or if I’d like to keep staying home with my two little bambinos.

Here’s What I Learned

PART-TIME Work IS THE SWEET SPOT

I worked Monday – Thursday from 9am – 2pm each day. The hours were perfect “mother’s hours”. I especially enjoyed using my afternoons to work on my blog at a coffee shop for a couple of hours. Overall, I enjoyed this break in my SAHM journey. I started staying home in December of 2018, so I was well into my SAHM gig when I went back to work part-time.

Part-time work is definitely where I’d land if I chose to go back to work. I think this little experiment would have been an entirely different ball-game if I was working full-time hours, covering events and evening appointments, etc.

Prior to leaving my job in 2018, I was already down to part-time work. It was really nice. The hard part for me was that I still maintained my full-time responsibilities, just needed to get it all done Monday – Wednesday. I was a Marketing Director and that role required many after-hours events and covering evening appointments. I don’t think there is any way we’d be happy and thriving (as a family unit) if I continued working with that work hour structure.

So, I definitely think part-time work is the sweet spot for me.

The working Hours are Key

The hours are also key, I think. One of the many reasons I started staying home was to relieve what I refer to as the “AM/PM rush”. You know, the chaotic mornings trying to get out the door to get to daycare and work on-time, and the evening hustle getting the kids from daycare (on time!) and in bed within a two-hour time-frame. It was exhausting.

Working 9am – 2pm was really nice. It got us up and out of the house, but it wasn’t rushed chaos trying to get out the door. The same thing in the afternoons – I had plenty of time to work on my blog or run errands and maintain great flexibility in getting the kids picked up in time from daycare.

Since I still used my afternoons for blogging/errands/etc., we still had to deal with the PM rush a bit after getting home from daycare. Instead, I could have used my time at home to get things done and prepare for supper, or go get the kids and just have them home already and try to get things done.

But, I needed to take advantage of the time to work on my blog, and it was really, really nice. I met my goal of writing four blog posts in January, and I was able to participate in a blog challenge which was also really fun!

The Break from Caregiving 24/7 was Nice, but…

It would be silly not to mention that one major benefit of going back to work part-time was having a break from my kiddos. The transition from working to staying home has been challenging for me, but I’ve come to really enjoy it over the past year. Especially once Gracelyn got to be about six months old.

Through this whole experiment, I learned that while it is nice to have a break from the kids, I really did miss them. Like, deep down in my soul. I missed all of these teeny-tiny, mundane moments that I’d come to take for granted when I was with them 24/7. And it also became very clear just how quickly this phase of life is going to pass by in the grand scheme of life.

Just today I was sitting with them eating pizza at lunchtime, and I was trying to get my (nearly) three-year-old to eat his peas and green beans. In order to do that, I had to get real silly. It dawned on me that these simple little moments are what I’m really, truly going to remember with my kids. My greatest joy is seeing them happy and giggling because Mama is having fun with them.

Signs from God

Within the first week of working, God gave us several “ah-ha” moments that gently (not really) reminded us why I’m meant to be at home.

The first one was Myles getting sick on the second and third day of my first week back to work. Of course, it sent us into panic mode – we can’t take him to daycare, and we’re both now working, so… I think each of us ended up taking a day at home with him. Not a great start!

Then, our daycare closed because one of her kiddos was sick…same situation. I think we took the kids to my parents or something. This happened in week two or three. It was wild. I did find it humorous, though, because neither of the kids had been sick in literally a year and wouldn’t you know it, all of this happened in the first couple of weeks!

Having a Primary Parent is Beneficial

The point here is that it is very convenient, easy, and less stressful to have a dedicated “primary” parent for caregiving on a day-to-day basis. It just is. My husband owns his own business. And while that can be very flexible and beneficial for raising a family, it also means that when duty calls, he must go. Especially since he provides the sole income for our household right now.

There is often travel involved in his work, and sometimes some really odd hours. It has been very relieving for him to not have to worry about juggling kids since I started staying home. It also allows him to really focus on his business and continue to grow and provide for our family.

The Tougher Job?

There is no doubt about it, staying home with children every day is harder than going to work. I’ve now been on both sides of this coin, and I can tell you that aside from the AM and PM rush stress, it’s much easier to go to work.

I noted this in my other post – To the Mom Debating Whether to Stay at Home or Continue Working – and a lot of it still rings true after this experiment, but it’s amazing how much tidier your house is when you are working outside the home nearly every day. There are fewer dishes, less potty usage, less food consumed, fewer messes made, and (for some reason) fewer clothes being dirtied.

On the flip side of that, it’s so great that our home is actually being lived in when I’m staying at home (sort of, we’re in a major house renovation at the moment – haha). We spend so much time within these four walls, building memories together, and getting the most out of our largest household expense.

No right or Wrong ANswer

There are definitely pros and cons to each side. There is no right or wrong answer here. That’s the part that is tough. I could probably be happy going either way if I didn’t have a choice. But kids are only kids for so long. There’s no going back and reliving any of these moments with them.

You’re going to give up something whichever way you choose to go, and you just have to embrace that fact. I’m a “do it all” kind of gal, so that is hard for me to swallow sometimes. Sure, I’d love to have a flourishing career, more money, etc.

But, right now, in this season of my life, what I’ve realized I want most is time and simplicity – for myself and our family. And the best way to attain those things is for me to rock the SAHM gig! It’s truly a privilege to have the option to stay home with our children. I’ll be forever grateful for this experience.

The days are long, but the years are short. No truer words have been spoken. Especially as I’ve become a mother.

Staying at Home Has Changed Me

I’ve relaxed into motherhood over the past year, since staying home. I’m better at being silly and child-like. I am better about getting down on their level to play and join in on the fun of being a kid for a bit.

I’m also better about not striving for perfection all the time. It was really draining, being that committed to a losing game. Perfection is truly the thief of joy and simplicity in life.

Essentially, I’ve stopped giving a hoot (also read: shit, but I’m trying to be decent) about the things that really don’t matter. Going back to work part-time was a nice change of pace and a great reminder that “I’ve still got it” if and when I want to get back into the working world.

I determined this month that my word of the year is clarity. I’m finding all sorts of it in different aspects of my life. It’s become very clear from this little seven-week stint that I’m right where I need to be in this season of my life – with my babies. Raising them up.

What’s your perfect balance? Do you enjoy working full-time? Has part-time given you the best of both worlds? Is staying home full-time giving you life? I’d love to hear from you – comment below!

-MG