I never really considered what “work/life balance” would mean as I embarked on my SAHM journey. Now that I’m closing in on one year at home caring for our kiddos, I’ve got a much clearer perspective and I’m here to shout it from the roof-tops – SAHMs need a work/life balance, too.
As important as it is to be so involved in raising your children, it’s also very important not to lose yourself and your own identity along the way. And when you become a SAHM, this can be a big challenge because you’re so engrossed in your children and their wants and needs. It can feel like there is nothing left to give – to yourself, your spouse, your family, your friends.
I’d even go as far as saying that it’s maybe even more important for SAHMs than it is for working mamas (insert: me cringing waiting for your response to that) to find a work/life balance. That may be an unpopular opinion, but hear me out!
And just so we’re clear – I’m absolutely not saying that working mothers don’t deserve or need a work/life balance. They definitely do – both moms and dads need that to be happy and healthy individuals.
work/life balance is needed more as a sahm
But, my perspective that SAHMs may need it more than their working counterparts is not that outrageous. I’ve worn both hats, and I can tell you first-hand that I need more of a work/life balance now than I did when I worked outside the home. And it is hard to find it.
When I had a job I had an outlet, another purpose, a reason to leave the house every day. Working parents have other adults who depend on them and can communicate maturely (without crying or tantrums). Simply put, they have a life outside the home – a sort of built-in work/life balance.
When you transition to staying at home (some work-at-home-moms may even share this feeling) your entire life exists within those walls. It’s your work, your life… everything.
You know how they say when you work outside the home to “leave your work at work, and home life at home”? Yeah, there are no black and white boundaries like that when you stay home. You are “on” 24/7.
So, what’s a gal to do?!
My experience has been that you have to start making space in your life for LIFE again. Create pockets of time each week/month to just be you – find yourself again amongst the chaos of child-rearing. This can be hard to do – but definitely not impossible.
What’s important to understand is that you no longer have built-in outlets like you did when you worked outside the home. There aren’t happy hours to attend, an office to go to and co-workers to socialize with. You can’t run errands and squeeze in a little retail therapy over lunch. There isn’t a 10-30 minute decompression time while you drive to and from work. You don’t even get to take bathroom breaks for questionable amounts of time (it’s fine, everyone does it)!
You have to be diligent and intentional about knowing your worth and realizing you deserve some time to make these things happen. Guilt-free. The hard part is that you have to be your own catalyst in taking action.
There are a few ways that I make time for myself now that give me a bit of a work/life balance. I’m going to share those below and hopefully, they’ll inspire you to find ways to create a balance between your work and your life. Because you are worth it! And honestly, a happy family is the product of a happy (SAH/WAH)Mom. Just sayin’.
my work/life balance
WORKING OUT
You may have already read about how I started working out in the mornings a few months ago (if you haven’t, go read about it here!). It has been an awesome way to start my day by putting myself first and getting out of the house. It also checks off so many other boxes for me!
If you can somehow incorporate working out into your life, it’s a great way to start creating space for yourself on a very consistent and frequent basis. My goal is to workout 3-5 times per week.
Monthly women’s breakfast club
This has been another way I add some “me-time” into my life. I have been a member of a women’s breakfast club for a few years now. It was one thing I wanted (and needed) to keep up with when I transitioned to stay home.
It’s only one morning a month, so the time commitment is very small. We adjust my husband’s schedule to make this happen for me. He’s awesome and my greatest supporter!
The great thing about joining a club like this is that you get to connect with other women who are in all different phases of life; some much like yours. You have the wisdom to help along those who are in a phase you’ve already passed through. And, you get reassurance and guidance from those who’ve been in your shoes. It’s wonderful!
A couple of things about my breakfast club that are awesome – 1. A hot (and yummy) breakfast is served (insert: praise hands) each month. 2. We have a speaker come each month, which is typically very uplifting and I learn something new!
If you can join a group like this in your local community, go for it! It’s worth the investment and provides a consistent and constructive outlet, with very little time commitment from you.
Hobby (blogging)
I’m still trying to figure out the best way to incorporate blogging into my life. It’s tricky because it can fall in either category – work or life. It’s a creative outlet for me, which I really enjoy. But if I want to reach my goals for it, then I have to find the time to spend working on it.
If you have a creative hobby that you enjoy, try to squeeze in some time each week to work on it! It doesn’t have to be a lot, maybe an hour or two. It’s a nice break and you’ll be able to put your other skills/interests to work. I’ve really enjoyed the “marketing” side of blogging (which is what my background is in). There is a ton to learn about. It gets very overwhelming for me sometimes, but it’s so intriguing to me that I enjoy the challenge of figuring things out.
time with spouse/friends
Whenever I go to dinner or meet up for drinks with friends, I walk away feeling so energized. Like I reawakened a part of myself I haven’t felt recently… maybe it was the “me” before kids? I don’t know, but it’s refreshing as all get out!
There isn’t a rigid/set-in-stone plan – like the third Thursday of every month at 6:15pm – for these occurrences. I just know that when I make a point to have a date night with my hubby, or get together with my college girls for dinner, or have a beer on the porch with a high school friend, I feel whole again.
It’s also super important to get away, without the kids, every now and again. Eric and I really enjoy Bed and Breakfasts, so we do short trips like that occasionally. It doesn’t have to be anything big (although we LOVE a good all-inclusive trip somewhere warm), but definitely set aside some time for just the two of you to reconnect.
These are things I’m going to start being more intentional about making happen.
alone time
I can be a really good extrovert, but I need to have alone time. That doesn’t really happen very often for me these days. So, I have to make it happen. Ideally, I’d like to have my alone time on a beach, getting a tan, with food and drink service, and a good book. But let’s be real, that’s not my life.
So instead, I do my Monthly Shopping Trip by myself (except that one time when I took both kids, which was a HUGE mistake)! It’s pretty much the exact opposite of being on a beach… so that’s lame. But hey, I’m alone and I get to buy things. Check, check.
I also enjoy getting a pedicure, going out to eat, going on a walk, reading a book, and window shopping by myself. Someday, I’d like to start going to movies by myself and travel places by myself.
reconnecting with yourself
Having the ability to stay home and care for my children and our home is a huge privilege – one that I lose sight of more often than I care to admit. But, the more intentional I become about creating that time for myself on a consistent basis, the more I have to give to my family. And the more I have to give to my family, the happier I am because I know that I’ve also created space and time for myself.
It’s all a big, fat balancing act, especially when you’re in the child-rearing years. Just take it one day at a time and start creating those pockets of time to reconnect with yourself! Before you know it, you’ll be sick of yourself and wishing you had your babies clamoring all over you again. Ha!
What tips and tricks do you have for finding pockets of time for yourself? How did you learn to have a work/life balance when you became a SAHM? Let me know in the comments!
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