Another year is in the books for the Iowa State Fair (ISF). Records were broken, the weather was actually decent, and fun was had by (almost) all!

There is always huge anticipation leading up to the Iowa State Fair each year, and then once fair-goers actually step foot on the Fairgrounds, the reality of the experience sets in.

Not surprisingly, there is always someone who takes a trip to the ISF who proceeds to whine and complain about how awful of an experience it was for them, and I think it’s pure comedy.

I mean, seriously? Did you really not understand the true nature of a fair prior to attending? It’s outside (rain or shine), people are there, animals are there, food is everywhere… the list never ends.

And just so we’re clear, I thoroughly enjoy the Iowa State Fair. It’s a favorite summertime tradition for me. I’m also not claiming that I’ve never ever uttered any of these words; I’ve even had to learn some of these lessons myself a time or two over the years. Haha!

I’m just doing my part in providing a public service announcement so that the people who “just don’t get it” understand the realities of attending the Iowa State Fair (hopefully before attending).

Here are 5 Reasons Why You Should (Not) Attend the Iowa State Fair

1 . There are people at the Iowa State Fair

I don’t know if you know this or not, but all fairs have one goal in mind to turn a profit each year – get people to attend. You know the phrase, “If you build it, they will come.” Yeah. That’s pretty much the ISF’s mantra. They build it bigger and better each year, and people come – from all over the world.

There are a lot of people there…like over a million over the course of 11 days. Don’t go to the Fair and expect to walk about aimlessly at your own pace without annoying the crap out of someone or being annoyed by someone else – especially if you have a stroller or one of those electric scooters.

I’ll reiterate: It’s crowded…with people. And you aren’t going to avoid it.

Pro Tip: If you aren’t a fan of, or can’t handle a crowd, do us all a favor and stay home. And if you just can’t not go, I’d encourage you to go early in the morning, right when it opens. Or, go on the day with severe weather. You’ll have the place to yourself, I’m sure.

2. It is hot at the Iowa State Fair

The Fair is held in the middle of August, every year. And the Iowa State Fair is in… you guessed it, IOWA. And I’ll bet you’ll never guess what the weather is like in Iowa in the middle of August.

It’s hot. And, I don’t mean dry hot. I mean humid hot.

It’s sticky and icky. You aren’t going to be able to avoid some serious swamp-ass (look it up!). You might as well not wear make-up of any sort, as it will be dripping off your face in hour two (I still wear make-up, FYI. I like to feel like I’m put together, even though I may look gothic from mascara and eye-liner running amuck).

Temps can reach over 100 degrees, but the humidity levels can make it feel ten or so degrees warmer. Wear as little clothing as possible.

Trust me, everyone else, no matter their figure, is on the same wave-length (coinciding activity: people-watching). I’m not even kidding, people-watching is a very highly rated activity when attending the Iowa State Fair. It is a thing. A very entertaining thing.

This also leads me to discuss comfort – please, please, please, wear comfortable clothes and (more importantly) shoes. You will learn quickly that attending the Iowa State Fair is not a fashion show. And yet, some people just don’t get it (I’m looking at you Felicia, with your leopard print mini-dress and stilettos).

Pro Tip: Drink lots of cool drinks (fresh-squeezed lemonade is my fave). Enjoy the shade and take in a program at the Bill Riley Stage. Visit the air-conditioned buildings (Varied Industries Building, Cultural Building) to cool off a bit. If you can’t handle being sweaty, please stay home.

3. Healthy Food is not an option

Please. I’m begging you. Do not show up to the Iowa State Fair and ask where you can get a spinach salad with grilled chicken breast and all the healthy fixings (with light dressing). And for a drink, you’d like a super-food smoothie? And a SmartWater? Um, no.

Does this sound fantastic? Sure (maybe?). When I’m not at the Iowa State Fair.

You can indulge in almost any deep-fried food you could imagine at the Iowa State Fair. It is also likely that there are more foods on sticks than anywhere else in the world. Take advantage of these opportunities!

I’m not saying you need to make yourself sick or go overboard and gain ten pounds. But a couple of days of crappy eating will not kill you. Live a little, will ya?

You may be able to find a handful (maybe) of decently healthy options, but you better be ready for a good scavenger hunt, my friend.

Pro Tip: Eat and drink your greens before you go if you’re going to be anal about your diet, and stick to the livestock barns while you’re there. That’s about the only place that isn’t lined with food vendors. Maybe the aroma of animal manure will get your fried-food taste buds revved up?! And if you think I’m kidding about the aroma… think again.

4. This is not a cheap date

Some people probably have a savings account set up at their local bank just to set money aside throughout the year for the Iowa State Fair. I don’t know anyone personally doing this, but if I went more than a couple of days each year, it wouldn’t be a bad idea.

Listen, you may hear “Fair” and think, “Oh yeah, that’ll be a nice, cheap little outing with the fam-bam. What a fun experience!”

I can assure you, it may be nice but it will not be cheap. You need to account for parking ($10 this year), entrance ($12/adult), food ($???), drinks ($??), and random buys like the sky glider, giant slide, Midway rides, etc., plus any tips you give.

It all adds up quick!

And if you plan to go to one of the Grandstand concerts, add that ticket to your cost. And don’t forget the gas to get you there. If you’re staying in town, you’ll need to account for your lodging.

Zac Brown Band – 2019

Speaking of lodging…

You would be shocked to know the number of families who camp for the entire week at the Iowa State Fair. It is literally their family vacation every year, and everyone I talk to about it says it’s the best week of their summer.

Can you believe that? There is a humongous waiting list to get a camping spot, and many of the spots are passed down from generation to generation. Take one of the Tractor Trams up into the campgrounds to get a feel for it. It’s incredible.

Essentially, this isn’t an easy-breezy trip to the fair. It is more or less a vacation. Plan your budget accordingly and then add $100+ to get you a realistic number. You’re welcome.

Pro-Tip: Maybe go to a county fair instead? Ha!

5. Not much changes at the Iowa state fair

The Iowa State Fair is a myriad of centuries-long traditions. That’s a large part of what brings people back, year after year. I am one of those people. I am happily stuck in the “keeping traditions alive” club.

However, if you only need to see the Big Boar, Big Ram, and Super Bull one time to get your feel, you may not need to go to the Iowa State Fair again, and again, and again. Sure, those BIG animals change each year respectively, but I can assure you they look very similar year after year.

You may only need one turkey leg, or fried twinkie, or basket of cheese curds, or pork chop on a stick. One fresh-squeezed lemonade or one beer from The Bud Tent.

You can probably get by with only a couple shows on the Bill Riley Stage, a ride on the ferris-wheel and sky-glider, a stroll through the photography salon, and the tractors on display. I can guarantee you only need one walk through the Varied Industries building.

One trip through each of the livestock barns will probably get you by for a lifetime. When you’ve seen one cattle show or draft horse show, you’ve seen them all, right? And you probably won’t be too keen on trudging to a parking lot again after a long day at the fair anytime soon.

Pro Tip: Maybe go every-other-year? You will surely get amnesia and be able to experience everything as if it were your first time! Or just go hog-wild for one year and do. it all. And then never go again. Open your savings account now.

but…

But, it is in these traditions where life happens and dreams come true. Memories are made that last a lifetime and are passed down from generation to generation.

Sure, there are plenty of reasons why you could skip the Iowa State Fair. But, it hasn’t been deemed one of the oldest and largest agricultural and industrial expositions in the country for no reason. It is truly a one-of-a-kind experience.

When you attend the Iowa State Fair, you’re supporting the rich history and tradition of our great state and the (often overlooked) value of the agriculture industry in a world full of technology and anti-social distractions.

The title of this post may be “Reasons Why You Should Not Go to The Iowa State Fair,” and for good reason(s), but I’d encourage you to add it to your next Summer Bucket List! Get out there; be a part of something bigger and better.

Give the Iowa State Fair a chance

Show your support for something other than your smartphone and social media accounts for a day or two. Learn something new. Step out of your comfort zone. It’ll be good for your soul, I promise!

And if you’re going to be one of the sour-pusses, I’ve given you plenty of legitimate reasons to skip out on the Iowa State Fair here. Please do the courteous thing and stay home. We won’t hold it against you, and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts in advance.

Until the next time when we’re all sweating fried food from our pores, stuck shoulder to shoulder walking down the Avenue of the Breeds, and trying not to stare too long at any one person while people-watching – let’s enjoy the cooler weather in our own bubbles, with plenty of room for activities (fried food optional)!

To the Chaos!

-MG

 

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